Aliens Love Underpants by Claire Freedman

Rating: 5 out of 5

• Reading level: Ages 0-8
• Board book: 24 pages
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster Children's (6 Aug 2009)
• Language English
• ISBN-10: 1847385907
• ISBN-13: 978-1847385901
• Product Dimensions: 18.4 x 14.8 x 1.6 cm

Report: Assessment of damaged caused by Claire Freedman's book "Aliens Love Underpants"

By Agent: Zerk Mayflower

Details: I arrived on Earth early 2008 (Earth time) after the Department of Underpants Raids received a report from fellow aliens that in children's rooms over the planet Earth, books with their pictures where appearing.

Upon landing I immediately checked out the neighbouring underpants, then proceeded to go undercover in a local human child's bedroom. I posed as one of his stuffed animals ( a truly terrifying thing human children have, local fauna stuffed and then used as a toy!) and was able to blend carefully into the bedroom environment.

I located the book and read it thoroughly from cover to cover. It was far worse then we had feared. This Claire Freedman had revealed everything. How we don't have underpants in space, our underpant radar tracking machine, and even the games we play upon discovering underpants. It was all there in vivid technicolour glory! The artist did an amazing job of capturing our likeness, so detailed and colourful. Commander Featherlight looked particularly good in Granny's spotted bloomers (see attached image).

A thought then occurred to me, considering the humans were now aware of our presence why had they yet to raise any kind of anti alien defences? Puzzled I investigated further by spending the night in the boy's room. Once he had changed into something called pyjamas (which I will detail in a separate report, these look like they could be as fantastic as underpants!) his mother entered the room. They sat down together and read the book aloud.

Oh what a wonderful thing it was to sit there listening to our story! It was funny, it rhymed, and by the end of it I was entirely entranced. The boy and his mother were laughing loudly and making silly sounds while they read. They were having fun, and seemed completely unaware that they were reading a TRUE account.

So once the family had fallen asleep, I accessed their internet to further research the book. I found it is classed as a children's book. A work of fiction. Something to be enjoyed by children and their families. It had won a heap of awards as well so that meant it was a very good book by Earth standards. To confirm this finding I infiltrated and observed three hundred homes with children that had this book. Low and behold it was the same situation, everyone thought it was make believe and funny, not a real account of a pant raid.

Conclusion: There is absolutely no threat to the Underpant Raiding Industry.

Recommendations: That we continue to monitor Claire Freedman. Her book is far too detailed for comfort and she must be getting her information either from an insider or from observation. Either way we must improve our raiding methods to ensure this Ms Freedman can not obtain any more information.

Magyk (Septimus Heap Book 1) By Angie Sage

Rating: 3 out of 5
Reading level: Ages 9-12
Paperback: 608 pages
Publisher: Katherine Tegen Books; First Harper Trophy Edition edition (March 14, 2006)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780060577339
ISBN-13: 978-0060577339
ASIN: 0060577339

First Sentence: "Silas Heap puled his cloak tightly around him against the snow"

At birth Septimus Heap dies. His father that same night discovers a new born baby girl dumped in the wintry woods. Ten years later the evil Supreme Custodian orders young Jenna's death as it is revealed she is really the missing princess.

This is a charming little story which never really delves to deeply into the issues it covers. There is nothing really scary or upsetting. It was filled with humor and adventure and was a fun read all round. There was nothing surprising about the story. The author did do a good job of not revealing if it was Boy 142 or the evil apprentice as being the missing Septimus. But you knew one of them was going to be the boy.

One thing I did not like was the multiple points of view. There were about ten different points of view and I struggled sometimes to see the relevance of the characters view the reader got. I just did not think some of the points of views added to the story. Some of the views I could see were there more for humor sake then plot relevance, for instance when the story was briefly told from the dogs point of view. But others just annoyed me more then anything.

I enjoyed the characters of Boy 142, Jemma and even Marsha. Boy 142 and Jemma have potential to grow into very interesting teenage characters as they are very strong willed and have a good sense of right and wrong. Marsha is just good for comedy relief. The fuss she made of her purple leather boots reminded me of far to many people I now.

The book is cute and funny. It would resonate a lot better I think with the age group it is aimed at the 9-12 bracket. The series is popular and there are a few books now in the series. I nice book to introduce a young reader to the world of fantasy.

Dark Life by Kat Falls

Rating: 4 out of 5
Reading level: Ages 9-12
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Scholastic Paperbacks (February 1, 2011)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0545178150
ISBN-13: 978-0545178150

First Sentence: "I peered into the deep-sea canyon, hoping to spot a toppled skyscraper."

Dark Life is set sometime in our future. The sea has risen and cities have toppled into the ocean. The humans remaining on the few scraps of land left are packed into mega high density buildings and the sea bed is the only place left for farming and space. It is being slowly colonised and is the equivalent of the wild wild west US in the 1800's.

This is where Ty calls home. He has lived here his whole life with his parents being among the original colonisers. He lives on a homestead in a large house with his sister. It was a pretty peaceful existence fishing and farming kelp on his parents farm.

Then he meets Gemma, a topsider looking for her brother, and everything changes.

This was a great debut novel. It had a nice mix of action and information for the reader. For a post apocalyptic story it has an interesting twist being set in the sea, and the area being a frontier type settlement. Also it makes a nice change from zombies.

The territory though is full of secretes which are slowly revealed through out the book. Some secrets are easily guessed but some you don't see coming till they are revealed. This is the first book in a series but could easily be read as a stand alone.

The characters were well fleshed out and believable. Gemma is incredibly brave, however this does lead to some incredibly stupid decisions. Also she sometimes she seems to be brave for the sake of it when all sense goes out the window. Ty is also brave but in a much more practical manner. He seems to be very aware of the world and does not view it through rose tinted glasses.

I really enjoyed the cultural changes to this world. For instance it seems women from topside wear full length dresses similar to what was worn in the 1800's. Its not explained why exactly. Plus they scorn and fear the colonists who live under the sea. It was interesting to see the Government referred to as the Commonwealth (or 'wealth in the book). I would be curious to know how it came to be called the Commonwealth. It almost seems like this future as reverted back to past traditions and beliefs.

This is the first dystopian, post-apocalyptic world I think I would want to live in. The under seas colony sounded like a kick ass idea, and why don't we do it anyway.

A great start to a series I will be interested to follow.

Movie Reviews - March 2011

Skyline

C-

I am being generous wit the C to be honest. I found this movie boring from the start. It failed to grab me in any way shape or form. The characters are horrible, and I actually wanted the aliens to kidnap their butts. We actually didn't finish this movie

Due Date

B

My partner got more out of this then I did. I must confess to a few laugh out loud moments. To be honest though I found it average. No surprises with the storyline.

Legion

C

Not sure what this movie was supposed to be horror? or thriller? it never really fully achieved either. Some good CGI and action scenes, and scenes with lots of zombie like people getting slaughtered enmasse.

Book of Eli

C

I have heard other people say great things about this movie. But I didn't like it. It didn't really grab us so we didn't bother finishing it. But if you like the lone hunter in a post apocalyptic world (think mad max but bloodier) then this might be for you.

Jackass 3d (in 2D)

B+

Ok I admit it this one had me laughing pretty hard for a chunk of it. A big portion though was just stupid, revolting and not funny. Not sure why they would do it in 3D, it seemed a waste to me. If you like seeing guys doing stupid painful stuff to themselves and each other you will get a kick out of this.

Tangled

A

I loved, loved, loved this movie. It was hilarious, with a solid story line that wasn't overly cliched. Disney returned to what it does best; Princess stories. It is a rework of the Rapunzel story. The animation is amazing as well. As always in a Disney movie the minor comedy characters steal the show. The horse and chameleon (names escape me) where so cute and funny.

Gulliver's Travels

C

A modern retelling of Gulliver's Travels. It was an average retelling with some funny moments. The best part is the singing and dancing at the end (which seems to be a pre-requisite to a Jack Black movie now). I just couldn't get past how Lillyput technology wise was equivalent to the 1700's and yet Jack Black makes them come to the 21 Century. Was just weird and didn't really work. But otherwise not a bad film.